Angel Babies, Baby Loss, Grief, Miscarriage, Missed Miscarriage, MMC, Parent Support

The Story of Michael

DaycareMom

I would like to take a moment to point out that I am actually a pro-choice person. I believe women have the right and the joy of deciding what to do with their bodies when they learn they are pregnant. Not every woman wants to be a mom, not all birth control does its job, not everything in life can be planned, and no one should judge anyone on a situation they themselves, have never had to deal with. I am pro-choice regardless of financial, cultural, relationship, religious, or beliefs. I am also a person who has wanted as many kids as I could have when I started having children. I am a person at first ultrasound at 6 weeks, holds my body, and says “I love you so much and I cannot wait to meet you”. For me all moments including the early ones are pieces of a lifelong love that matter. That is just me. That is my feeling about my children. I am pro as much noise in my house as possible. I am pro watching someone I helped bring into the world be their authentic self. That does not mean, I would ever go into another person’s life and tell them they should feel about anything the way that I do. You want more kids… cool! You want no kids, cool! – I wanted more, and the realization that it was not going to happen came in a cold, professional, and unempathetic manner on a rainy August afternoon.

I have wanted more children since N was one year old. In February of 2019, I had a false positive pregnancy test and it opened up a window for me I needed to climb through. My husband was not on the same page. He felt that two was enough, and we still had never gotten to date each other because we got pregnant with P not long after meeting. He wanted a break from bottles, diapers, and babies. Not me, I wanted more, and I was afraid the longer we waited the harder it would become. Thus began two years of discussions and sometimes arguments about adding to our family.

By March 2020 I didn’t just have baby fever, I had the baby plague. If I could have willed myself pregnant without any help from my husband, I would have. Friends would kindly listen to me obsess about why it hadn’t happened yet. I felt annoying talking, so I am pretty confident I was annoying to listen to. However, it was what was on my heart, and during a time when it seemed like everyone was having a pandemic baby, I couldn’t help but wonder, is this my time? Well… It was not. It was not my time at all. Months of trying, ovulation tests, and two week waits left me unpregnant and frustrated. Tension between my husband and I increased. The more I wanted it, the less he did. The more work it was to make a person, the more work I wanted to do, and the less work he wanted to do. All of the not getting pregnant reinforced his point that he just wanted a break. What would be the nail in the coffin of our “trying” came when I was referred to fertility specialists. Doctors that made me schedule an appointment to get lab results I already paid for. (WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?) It caused such a massive argument in my marriage, that I waved my white flag. I decided to set out on the path of grieving and unrealized dream and focus on a life where I found fulfillment elsewhere. It took 6 months. 6 months to purge baby items, to stop being mad at my husband, to stop being mad at myself and move on. I returned to work, tried to look at the positives of having two children who didn’t rely on me in the same way, and started to get back in shape.

Then on June 11th I got the sneaking feeling I was pregnant. I wasn’t late, I did not feel sick, but I felt it. I took a test, and it was positive. I took six more tests and they were positive too. I told my husband who cried, hugged me, and was so excited. I well.. wasn’t. I knew I was pregnant but something felt wrong. Was it wrong because I just settled into a life and path that did not include baby? Was it wrong because I know my body, and I had a bad feeling? – Maybe it was a bit of both. However, as I did with my girls, I fell in love immediately.

One afternoon when I was 5 weeks, I was napping with the girls and I started to cry. I cried because I was laying down with all my kids. I cried because our family was going to be complete. I cried because all of my praying, fighting, hoping, and wishing for a voice I knew was missing in our lives paid off. In that moment my heart was so full. I have never been so happy in my life. That moment would be the only time the whole pregnancy I was not worried something was really wrong. When I say that, I mean I had a nagging feeling (and multiple dreams) that I was never going to get to hold my baby. I was crazy – I had to be. I had morning sickness, I saw a healthy baby twice, I was showing right away, I was “happy”. I had made plans to work until the baby came in February and then be off through the summer. I made a pregnancy announcement on our family vacation that I tucked away until I was in my second trimester. Yet, I had a feeling I did not share, that I could not shake. A feeling I so badly wanted to be wrong about.

On July 23rd I went to my 10 week appointment. This was going to be the moment of truth. What I saw was a beautiful baby kicking, and wiggling, with a perfect heartbeat. My doctor told me the baby was measuring perfectly. The doctor felt it was safe for me to start sharing my news because it was almost impossible to miscarry with this visit going so well at this stage. I was ecstatic. I cried and shared that I was worried I might have postpartum depression because I had a nagging feeling something was not right. She told me that just the fact that I shared that, she was not worried. To try to calm down and enjoy this moment, and I did. I would spend the next few weeks bouncing around, happy as a clam. Thinking of names, making a baby registry, and making space for our baby.

On August 11th I had a first trimester scan in my second trimester. I had just done a full announcement and waddled into my appointment excited to have the first of many 3d chats with my sweet baby. When the tech called me, we greeted each other like old friends. She had been the tech for both of my daughters, and I was overjoyed to see her, and share in the joy. I laid down got a quick glimpse of the baby and held my breath. Then the tech told me to go to the bathroom… But it is the first scan… I need my bladder full…. sinking feeling number one had happened. I emptied it halfway in hopes that it really was just too full – (because it is easier to believe I am crazy, then have good intuition about myself and my child). Then when I walked back in…. the tech said “No you can empty it all the way” – I walked back to the bathroom muttering “Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead” – but I knew. I had done this too many times not to know. When I returned the tech took some measurements, we chatted about our kids, and then I said ” Hello Sweet Baby, I love you, and I cannot wait to meet you. I Hope you are just sleeping”. – At that moment the tech pulled her chair away and said the words that broke every part of my heart “There is no heartbeat”. From that moment on I was different.

The shift in a parent when they find out their child has died is… otherworldly. It is falling through a trap door, it is dying a little too, it is watching who you were from above your body in the moment of change… and sobbing. I would spend the rest of the appointment witnessing a new version of myself be introduced to the world. This person: Screamed at techs, repeated the work ‘fuck’ over and over as the doctor did a confirmation check. It is a bizarre feeling to meet yourself as the world is meeting you for the first time as an adult. That feeling, event, or moment is supposed to happen for your baby. Not you. They will never remember their first moments as a new person. A mother who was just told her child(ren) died will. It has been one year since this the day I learned my child died. One year since I learned my body could be used as a coffin. One year since I realized that my unconditional love for people I worked hard to create, is nothing more than a business for the people helping me bring life into the world.

I want my baby back. I want the old me back. I want for my world never to have stopped on a rainy afternoon in August.

Sincerely,

Michael’s Mom

emotions, Faith, family, God, joy, love, Parent Support

Big Feelings, Little People

DaycareMom

It doesn’t take much for anyone to get deregulated in the current political/pandemic/Crazy time we live in. Our kids are no exception. I have always believed that our kids are a mirror image of us. They aren’t mini me kids – certainly they are their own people. However, the are definitely going to show us what we show them. Which is why it’s so important to model compassion, love, hope, joy, understanding, and human error. The next time your child is misbehaving, stop and ask yourself “ do I do that when I’m upset too?” – more often then not our kids model behavior they see. We are their key on the map of life.

Remember Their Firsts

Remember the moment you first saw them, held them, and watched them take a breath. They are fleeting moments. When our kids are wrapped up in their big feelings it is easy to hop on that roller coaster and ride it with them. We have a deadline, there is a late payment, our other kids need our attention, our spouse is struggling, our parent is sick… there is always a reason. It is super easy to get lost in the moment with your child and absorb their emotions. Stop for a second, validate their emotions, validate your emotions, and let them know what the expectation is. I am a naturally loud person so I say life at a yell. I can’t help it. My brother and best friend used to tease me that I never take a breath 😂. Now, I’d add that my voice sounds like a bell and a megaphone at the same time! My poor family.

This my brother, Joe. He’s incredibly intelligent, self aware, and nurturing. Who I am lately rests on the fact that he has always believed in me… and reminded me to breathe ❤️😂

They Are Lucky to Have You

We all make mistakes as parents. We all have moments that make us cringe. We all say and do things that for a brief moment remind us of our parents. Our kids don’t know what our parents were like, they only know what we are like. Why? Because grandparents have this great way of making up for all the mistakes they made as parents. So remember your kids are lucky they have a parent who let them be vulnerable, who care enough to yell, who care enough to sit with them till they sleep, who care enough to fight for them. I hope my daughters know how incredibly lucky I feel to be their mom. I fought my whole adult life to meet these two little people. Their big feelings, I get. Their laughter, I get. The moments they think I don’t see, I get. Every night before I put them to bed, I tell them I love them and they matter. Our kids should know that no matter the external factors, no matter the tough day they had, we love them. As my friend Dr. Julia Hodgson says – our kids big feelings are not our failures as a parents. She is right. Love your kids let the big feelings happen, set clear boundaries, and show compassion. The relationship with our kids is important. We fought for it, we prayed for it, and we need to accept that it is as wonderful and Imperfect as any relationship we have in our life.

My little dancer and the child who is most like me. I am incredibly proud that she has a fighting spirit and a voice in her heart to guide her ❤️
She looks like me, and has more sense than I ever will. She has been a fighter since the moment she existed. She has the same fire as her sister and she uses it with grace ❤️
My partner in crime. I met him and the world made sense. ❤️
budget friendly, childsplay, DIY, Lesson Plans, modeling, Parent Support, parenting styles, Positive, prek, preschool, protective factors, recycleandreuse, sensory play, stem, structured play, unstructured play

UnStructured/Structured Play – What Do Kids Learn?

DaycareMom

Unstructured Play

Playing Teacher

My daughter was being quiet and then I heard “okay class it’s time to paint. We are going to sing the weather song and then paint what we see”. She sang the song we sing almost everyday about looking out the window to check the weather. Then she grabbed paint, a qtip, and paper and set up her “class” for art. She painted an abstract picture of the sunshine and the leaves outside.

Why Let Unstructured Play Happen?

There are times to teach your kids binary concepts and times to let them do their own thing.

Create time in the day for messy unstructured play. It’s a good time to let them use expressive language (verbally and nonverbally) to show what they are learning. It is also a good creative outlet.

If you’re a more structured parent (no judgement) set a timer and let them go crazy for that set time. Then show them how to clean up.

Structured Play

Princess in a Castle – STEM

This morning the girls and I sat down and played with structure. I gave them clear rules.

1. The tower had to be as high as a cereal box

2. you have to work together to create

3. two princesses need to fit in the castle

4. you have to clean up what you don’t use.

I respect -let your kid be their own 🌈 they are their own person style of parenting. I also see ways to teach kids that sometimes everyone needs instruction without flexibility. An easy way to incorporate that important life lesson into the homeschool program – structured play!

Structured Play – Use STEM designated toys to bring structured play to your child’s homeschool education.

Valuable Lessons From Structured Play

  1. Boundaries – for you and them.
  2. Cause and Effect
  3. Rules without the “but why” – this is much different than boundaries. This gives kids the chance to see that – there are situations where we have to follow an order without including fear into the lesson of rule following
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Recycle and Play

DaycareMom

There is no reason to spend more than needed to help teach your kids. Using recycled items from home teaches children more than can be put into words.

Using crayons or markers, glue or tape, and any kind of paper (cardboard, newspaper, wood pieces, chalkboards, or towels). You have the ability to take up as much or as little space as learning without screens warrants in your home. You are a great teacher and a great parent.

Recycling Helps with…

1 – creativity

2 – concern for the environment

3 – keeps you and your loved ones healthy during the pandemic

4 – removes stress that teaching requires investing financially more than you have

5 – brings you and your child together to create and play

art, DIY, Kid Crafts, Parent Support, pasta boxes, prek, preschool, recycleandreuse, recycled play, sensory play, Teaching

How to Use Empty Pasta Boxes for Learning

DaycareMom

1 – Cut the box to use the front and back of the box.
2- measure out the window on your pasta box, so that the writing aligns with the window.
3 – pick a theme to demonstrate either numbers or letters.
4 – write on the blank back of the box peice and then glue the blank front of the box peice down so the window sits over your writing
5 – a draw an illustration that matches your writing
6 – Play with your child/children ❤️

art, budget friendly, DIY, Lesson Plans, Mommy and Me, pandemic, Parent Support, parenting styles, Positive, prek, preschool, protective factors, recycled play, relationships, sensory play, Teaching

Perfectly Imperfect Ways to Teach a Toddler

DaycareMom
The feeling of panic begins with the first lesson we teach our children, on the first day we meet them

The Story of the Toddler Genius

When I was in student teaching I had a parent tell me that if I sent home projects that looked perfect and were “made” by her toddler, she would throw them away. In this case the art project was a frog and well… this two year old was a genius… because their frog looked perfect. From that day on I made sure that anything I taught was with the intention of showcasing knowledge rather than perfection. It opened my eyes that since children to not all learn the same way, they will not demonstrate their knowledge in the same way.

Types of Learning – Observations from a Teacher

  1. Tactile – Hands on learning. This is the child who needs to touch the fire to know it is hot. They also tend to speak with their hands, talk more, to appear to struggle with listening…. I promise you they listen just fine.
  2. Auditory – Learns best when being spoken to without added distraction of visuals. Tends to be less talkative.
  3. Visual – Learns best when shown images, picture directions, and masters reading skills easily because sight drives knowledge absorption. Balanced with talking and listening. Visual learning tends to be the middle ground between auditory and tactile learning.
A perfect and funny example of different types of learning!

A Tip for Helping Your Child Learn

Art/ Learning doesn’t need to be perfect. It can get frustrating to teach when you think your child is not listening, is not developmentally on par with peers, or doesn’t show interest in the material. RELAX! Your frustration is valid. There is also nothing wrong with your child. They just might not learn the same way as you do. We tend to teach how we learn best. Try presenting the information in an objective way and be open to however your child receives it. Take a mental note, and reintroduce the information at another time to observe growth.

Toddler Art: Did not want to participate in making the rainbow. Did want to comment on finished product and talk about what she sees – visual learning

What Teaching Looks Like Without Panic

From Daycaremombylunamae on Instagram:

“Fruit Loop Rainbows on this Rainy Thursday 🌧🌈 Helping children learn is as much about what they do as what they say. For this project my toddler did not want to make the rainbow BUT she did want to talk about it. Using a recycled cereal box for a canvas and sentence strip – together we created a rainbow. While I sorted and glued, she talked about the colors, the clouds, and what toys we have that are also rainbow. I asked her questions and wrote to verbatim what she said. This is important for development. Learning isn’t about the perfect picture, the perfect understanding. It is about introducing information and waiting to see how that information is absorbed. Every child learns differently. Understanding what your child’s learning style is helps you help them on their academic journey. Happy Thursday 🧡🖤 #fruitloops #3dart #toddlertime #art #recycleandplay #happylearning #homeschool #preschool #daycaremombylunamae

Pre-K Art: Did not want to be told what to do. Did watch what I did, then created her own image – tactile leaner

From Daycaremombylunamae on Instagram:

🌧🌈Fruit Loop Rainbow on a rainy Thursday Pre-K edition: My pre k student got to glue herself, and so her rainbow is a little more abstract. She is a tactile learner. Her work is perfect. I gave her directions and let her create what she thinks a rainbow looks like. Let your child learn creatively and through play while they are home with you. Lessons of how children view the world are just as important as learning math, science, writing. #prekactivities #3dart #fruitloops #recycleandplay #perspective #childsplay #learnthroughplay #teachingin2020 #homeschool #prekart #littlelearners

art, budget friendly, DIY, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, modeling, pandemic, Parent Support, Positive, prek, preschool, recycled play, stickers, Teaching, writing

Preschool Writing

DaycareMom

Put on a New Hat

You have had your morning coffee. Free play has turned into a sibling fight or only child boredom. You see a window of opportunity to sit down and teach your child. Homeschool is new to you. Wearing a teacher hat is new to you. Putting on a movie would be easier. I am here to tell you, YOU GOT THIS! ❤️

Let go of the fear of not being enough and give into learning how to help your child learn. You’ll have to help them with work elementary through college. Half the battle is building a relationship based on a respect for education. Start now!

Different Ways to Teach Writing to Pre Kindergarten Kids

Letter Mosaic – A favorite of mine, Teach children the shape of letters. It is not just about holding a pen and paper. It is about teaching them the letters and the sounds. Start off with their name. This not only builds confidence in their writing skills it teaches them to have pride in who they are! For added learning value – have them cut their own scraps – with supervision, color in the bubble letters and match the color paper to their name, and count out how much paper is needed.

Workbooks and Devices – Amazon, Target and Walmart all offer great first writing options. Take the time to label the pages you plan to teach per day, Star or use a sticker to indicate where you expect your child to start, and use a program like pre-K from Amazon Freetime or ABC Mouse to reinforce letter sounds and shapes. Devices are a great tool when used with pen and paper. I encourage you to let your child use a marker to start writing and transition to a first pencil and so on.

Magnet Boards and Books – A great way to build on writing is to read! Your child doesn’t have to do the reading but they can certainly learn. Pick beginner books that have simple three word sentences. Read through for one week with your child twice a day. Have stickers ready to reward them for participating in reading. On the second week have them fill in the words that are easily mastered. Two and three letter words are best for this. Have your child say it and then write it down or spell it in magnets. Point out each letter and the sound. Increase difficulty after you observe a way of learning is being mastered.

Composition Books – inexpensive, takes 30 seconds to create a page of traceable letters. Promotes independence. Again, in the beginning use thick markers as grasp improves switch to pencil.

Using the Scaffolding Method – the scaffolding method is a teaching method that utilizes the age difference of children to promote learning. Older kids model appropriate behavior for younger kids, promoting interest and speeding their development. If your younger child demonstrates an interest in learning – go with it! Give them a book and a marker, buy an extra workbook, Create an extra art project. Teaching the second will be simpler in some ways because they had another child to copy.

Sticker Letters – another inexpensive hidden gem. A quick stop to the office supply section of the grocery store will help you teach your child. Pick up the circle stickers for coding, grab a piece of paper and marker, and you have an easy 5 minute lesson. This is a great activity for learning numbers, shapes, and size as well.

Happy Tuesday 🧡✨

budget friendly, DIY, halloween, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, modeling, pandemic, Parent Support, parenting styles, Positive, recycled play, sensory play, stickers, Teaching

Collecting Materials for Homeschool Lessons

DaycareMom

Reuse Everyday Items to Create Learning that is Fun!

I have been on the homeschool journey since the pandemic began. In the beginning I felt like I needed to buy everything early learning companies offer. Quickly I learned that prices on art supplies skyrocketed and as the pandemic peaked I did not want to risk a trip to the store.

Time to Get Creative!

I started looking around the house at what I already owned to help me plan teachable moments for the upcoming week. Then as my resourcefulness paid off I was able to plan for the month. I was a toddler teacher before but supplies were not my responsibility to provided. Bankrolling my daycare for my daughters required some inventiveness. Here are a few ideas to help you starting out with creating a budget friendly learning environment for your little person/people.

Getting the Most Out of Your Materials

  • Reuse Your Boxes. It does not matter what kind. Cereal Boxes make great worksheets and canvases, Waffle and Pizza boxes are awesome for board games and scavenger hunt maps. Pasta boxes with the picture window are great for letter and number ID games. The thin panels you find nutritional information on work well as writing practice strips. (Check out @daycaremombylunamae on instagram for more phone examples of how to reuse boxes)
  • Utilize the Dollar Section. This might sound like a no brainer, BUT there is an art to not making daily trips. Plan ahead with a theme for the week or month. When shopping in dollar sections pick three main materials and buy double of each. Divide the manipulative, toys, and fine motor supplies into six different baggies. This will allow you to plan six different activities ( math, science, art, sensory, gross motor, and fine motor play) for six different days.

The pumpkins featured in this board game were 5/4.00 at the local grocery store. For this game the pumpkins were used as a manipulative to hide a spider. They were also used for art – decorating pumpkins with puffy stickers and gems, math – adding a subtracting pumpkins from the patch, STEM – Learning the steps of running and experiment made age appropriate, and reading – giving a visual prop to Pete the Cat and the Five Little Pumpkins by James Dean.

  • Pintrest and Find – I love pintrest and I also enjoy picking materials based off what I can match with what I own. As an example. Helping preschoolers learn about how to make a pattern benefits their development exponentially. There are two options – Buy and print a premade pattern worksheet, or make your own. To make your own, take whatever cookie cutters you can find, recycle the cereal box you just finished, grab a marker and make your own! If your cookie cutters are all holiday themed that is perfect! Tracing the cookie cutter in different directions can change the image. Using paper towel rolls works too. Color in each circle different and you can create multiple patterns. * Cookie Cutters are a great dollar section find.
  • Use Tape Instead of Glue – This one is self explanatory. The benefits of using tape is that you can take apart activities not intended to be art, and reuse the materials for other projects.
  • Empty Egg Cartons – Use for sorting beads and manipulatives. rationing and separating paints

I hope these suggestions are helpful as you build your homeschool program. Every parent has the creative spirit to help their child succeed. All you need is a little thinking outside the box.

Happy Monday!

decorating, DIY, halloween, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, recycled play, stickers

Five Minute Halloween Early Learner Activities

DaycareMom

Spiders in the Web 🕸🕷

Age: 2-4

Developmental Goal: match, count, color identification, direction following

Materials: a cut up cereal box, markers, scissors, a pumpkin, ball, or small manipulative

Prep: Use the biggest piece of cardboard to draw a spider web. Then draw different colored spiders with different designs on the web. Use a thin piece of cardboard to create flash cards. No more than 4 flash cards.

How To Play: have your child close their eyes. Place manipulative on the spider you want them to find. When they open their eyes, ask them to point to the flash card that has the image being covered by the manipulative. Then have them match the flash card image to the main game board. Repeat with other flash cards.

Tip 1. – this is a 5 minute game. It should be easy and child led. Help give them structure and choices at the same time. You can do this by talking about what they see on the game board prior to playing.

Tip 2. – if they lose interest that is okay! Bring it back later and introduce one card as at a time.

Sticker Web Fine Motor Activity

Age: 1-5

Developmental Goals: fine motor skills, building on attention span, drawing, following directions, creativity

Materials: recycled cardboard any size, marker, stickers

Prep: use the marker to draw a spider web or webs on the cardboard. Cut sticker sheet to help child focus on a small number of stickers at a time.

How To Play: give child stickers and let them stick to cardboard.

Tip: You can make this more advanced for older kids by having them draw the spider webs. Writing letters and numbers on the cardboard that coordinate with the number of stickers you expect them to put down.

Happy Monday 🧡🕸🕷

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Real Parenting Positivity – You Are Doing a Great Job!

DaycareMom

You are doing a great job. You are doing a great job. Did you hear that the first two times? No, okay… one more time…YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB. Recently it has been brought to my attention that a popular tool to get customers is shaming the cringe worthy moments we all have. What does this do? It feeds fear. What does the fear do? Forces parents to open their wallets. It prays on the moments that make you feel like your words or actions have broken your child. Plus, after the first hour of free shaming, they charge you to continue the shame. We don’t do that at Daycaremombylunamae. If we are talking positivity, then let the full message be positive… so one more time YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!

    A Little About Me

    I am not a disgruntled person who felt the need to anger write because of a social media ad. I have been forming this thought, this shift in parenting advice since the beginning of my career. I have been a preschool teacher, social worker, case worker, respite worker, behavior therapist, nanny, and now parent. During my time working with parents I have identified one key truth – We all believe we are doing what is best for our children. Not one parent, (there were very few exceptions. Those people had serious mental health issues) not even the ones who were under the supervision of child protective services were actively trying to be a bad parent. My time working in mental health yielded a significant truth, meeting parents with shame for what they know to be normal will get a door closed in your face. Again, meeting people where they are with shame and judgement will get the door shut in your face. How do you help a family if they do not trust you to come into their home? sit in on their court date? Supervise and model a safe visit? Nobody wants to be shamed. As a teacher I learned the value of being a protective factor. A protective factor is someone who is a safe space for a child or family to keep positive, advocate for when needed, and focus on what they are doing correctly. This is accomplished by sandwiching the challenges of a day into the successes. Why do effective teachers do this? That parent report at the end of the day is just as much about what the parent is reinforcing as it is about what the child is doing. Tell the parent about all the challenges after a long day at the office and they will always take it as an attack on their skills. Again, shame.

    I built a career on being objective, helpful, and building up the whole family. When I had my own children I thought my skills would give me an advantage. I was wrong. This is my second issue with the ads using shame to drive seminar attendance. Just because you can teach it does not mean you can do it. What do I mean by that? my career has been spent helping the whole family. I got to be objective, I didn’t have to deal with the consequences (good or bad) of how I had helped, and I did not have a physiological attachment to the children I was caring for. I could teach and explain patience and communication without having to put these techniques into practice myself. Now that I am a parent I have a different patience and different communication skills. Daycaremombylunamae doesn’t shame because I have no room to talk. I have had parenting moments that make me cringe. I am thinking of five specific moments as I type this. Don’t get me wrong I have had some winning moments too. I know that we have all had winning moments and I would much rather focus on that, than the moments that I thought “Oh! What are you doing lady? Stress is overwhelming your ability to be objective”.

    Dear Parents – Kind Reminders

    1. Kids are Built for Our Human Moments – I am deep into The Power of Vulnerability by Brene Brown ( check out her audible or TED Talks) – She discusses the difference between shame and guilt. Guilt is productive an shame is not. When we come down on ourselves for the mistakes we make as parents, we are still modeling shame or guilt for our kids. Guilt – “That was a weak parenting moment, I can do better”. Maybe this means saying sorry to your child, partner depending on the circumstance. Maybe it means taking a bubble bath and stepping away for a minute to regroup. Guilt is about the situation not the person. Shame would be living in your sadness about your parenting misstep. Your child is watching you beat yourself up, be inconsistent because you are afraid of your own authority. Modeling shame for your children is not just about tearing them down (which we should absolutely never do), modeling shame parent choices can be just as damaging. Next time you have an anxious moment, a short tempered moment, a overreaction – Don’t overcorrect with shame. Acknowledge you could do better and remember your kids are the most resilient, forgiving people in your life.

    2. Relationships with Our Children Are Just As Flawed As Any Relationship – I blame social media for how we forget this as new age parents. Social media makes everything look pretty, unflawed, and impossibly perfect. Even in the wake of the “be authentically you” trend, somehow real unstaged, unedited parenting moments do not apply. Here is the truth, Your child is a person with their own identity, their own brain, and their own desire to be who they are. This might not align with the “mini me” ideal you first had when meeting your baby for the first time but, it is true. You are going to argue with your child from their first tantrum until the rest of their life. You do not have to cave because they are small, you do not have to handle the situation seamlessly. You absolutely have to exercise self control. You have to remember that if you wouldn’t overstep with an adult you definitely shouldn’t with your child. You still can acknowledge and respect that your relationship with your child is not perfect. Nor should it be. Live in the imperfect reality that you rock for your children and they are going to defy you anyway.

    3. Tomorrow is a New Day – If you are reading this hiding in your bathroom eating a sleeve of oreos, I see you. If you are pretending to work while reading this just to get a 5 minute break, I see you. If your children are making you call on Jesus because they played airplane in the cart at the grocery store and now the food on the shelves is on the floor ( happened to me for real), I see you. Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is a new opportunity to create memories that make you and your children smile. The quickest emotional turn around time is not always the best. Give yourself time and space to decompress. You earned it. Parenting is so very hard.

    4. You are Doing a Great Job!

    Happy Sunday

    Church, connections, Faith, friendships, God, Mom Therapy, Mommy and Me, MOPS, pandemic, Parent Support, parenting styles, Positive, relationships, tribe

    Making Connections – Making Friends While Staying Home

    DaycareMom

    For a long time my friends were the people I grew up with in New Jersey. Even after moving to Rhode Island as a teenager, the people I turned to were the people I grew up with. They knew everything about me. They did not judge me for my weird anxiety. *I became an adult in a time where it was socially acceptable to hide all your flaws. Not like now, where having a diagnosis and a pay role therapist are as common as having the new smart phone. To this day I keep up with the girls I went to CCD with, sold Girl Scout Cookies with, attended 8th grade graduation parties with, and shared secrets with. As discussed in an earlier post, we show up for one another in different ways.

    When I lived in Rhode Island I did not have the same good fortune with friends. I jumped from group to group (usually dictated by who I was dating), found that secrets were never secrets, felt incredibly judged, and settled for less than I deserved in the friend department. I do not keep up with any of girls I met in high school or there after. The only person I speak to on a regular basis is my husband, and that is because we met in Rhode Island and moved to Virginia together. To be fair to those girls, they are all still good friends. Obviously, the have the same connection with one another that I have with my friends from Jersey. I just took their judgement and rejection rather hard (and still do).

    When I moved to Virginia I was slow to warm up. I was 11 weeks pregnant, newly married, at a new job, and in a new state. I did not go out of my way to do anything other than get to know my husband. Side Note- We met and got married four months after our first date. He was and still is the best decision I have ever made. I had acquaintances but nobody I spent any regular time with. When I was pregnant this was not so bad, and when I tried to be a career mom it did not suck either. Every second I wasn’t working I wanted to be with my daughter. As time went on I got pregnant again, moved to the country, and became a stay at home mom. Suddenly, I needed the support system. My husband works an hour away (on a good day, pre pandemic), I am alone with two babies, and like most people not near family at all. I put aside my feelings about my Rhode Island friend experience, and got out in the community. These efforts started small enough, chatting with other moms with same aged children waiting to check out at the store, the park – still not my favorite place unless I have an extra set of hands, mommy and me groups, and mom tribe groups. Here is what I found.

    1. Mommy and Me – This is hit or miss. Go in with no expectations and the flexibility to know it is like going on a blind date with 20 other women. The first get together might be great… this can be misleading, but keep trying. One of my best friends has kids the same age as mine, and she was the first person I was friends with outside of our kids connection. Others, I ONLY had a connection with because of our kids. Every time we got together it felt like a blind date all over again… declaring our parenting styles, talking about the challenges of transitioning to stay at home status, and how other mom meet ups had failed in the past. We never talked about anything fun like sex, religion, or our favorite reality TV shows, and again nothing is a secret. I did not give up, I kept trying and over the three years I have been a SAHM (stay at home mom) I have built a small network of people, it is fun to go out for drinks for, or get together with the kids.

    2. MOPS ( Moms of Preschoolers) – This has been a labor of love. I tried MOPS in my area when my second was a newborn and struck out for multiple reasons. I was looking for bible study and this was not that. My husbands schedule did not support the Moms Night Out efforts of the group, and my north eastern views tended to clash with the views of the new age women I was getting to know. I left the group BUT I kept my heart and mind open to the idea that I could still be friends with some of these women and overtime I did. My oldest went to preschool with some other MOPS kids, and that opened the door for me to make some great friends, build a presence in our community, and find my way back to MOPS in a religious capacity. The journey of MOPS has come full circle and I am grateful for that.

    3. Volunteer & Get Involved – My whole life my father has said “when you have nowhere to go, go to church. God doesn’t abandon you”. (This is not a religious blog. I am just stating that sometimes support comes in places of faith. I took his advice, enrolled my kids in preschool, volunteered at the preschool program, went to church every Sunday and found people to connect with on a spiritual level. This has been incredible if for nothing else to then to talk about something other than kids, work, and the day to day that we get bogged down in. It reminds us and our kids that there is a bigger world view to keep in mind. There are ways to stay present, involved and put other people before ourselves.

    4. Keep Social Media Time Intentional and Positive – This is no easy task in society today but it is doable. I only follow or participate in social media that builds the collective up. I do not use it as a platform to show off my good fortune, I do not tear others down, use my kids or husband as click bait. I use social media to stay connected to the friends from New Jersey who have all moved away, to keep up with what is happening with the MOPS mama’s and to offer the free content this blog provides. I try (and sometimes fail) to not mindlessly scroll. I try to be a pack builder and participate in what my friends value and are trying to promote. I tailor what I am willing to scroll through to walk away feeling good about myself. If you have read my other posts you know that I am not here for new age parenting. My kids are not born with the gift of being fully grown and decisive and I do not treat them as such. I am from New Jersey and I am of Italian/Greek decent – my volume baseline volume is LOUD – so sometimes I yell. And you know what? It feels great. So I while I respect the hustle of the always calm parent… I do not live by those rules because while beneficial in the short term, there are long term ramifications not being considered ( in my opinion). I do not troll these posts. I just mute them. Then they can keep living their best life as the always calm parent. I will keep living my best life as a hot mess express, who benefits from a good (never tearing down) rant about why I am the only person to take my shoes off when entering the clean house. That is really important. Why scroll through content that is going to make you feel bad about yourself? Scroll through content that makes you feel heard, validated, and appreciated. There are enough places in life we are hit with hard truths, and injustice. Our phones should not be one of them.

    Make connections and friends the best you can as you navigate staying home. Be patient, give grace, and allow for a few burns before you find what works for you.

    Happy Thursday

    friendships, modeling, Mom Therapy, pandemic, Parent Support, parenting styles, protective factors, relationships, tribe

    Making a Tribe Last

    DaycareMom

    Today my friend came over with her kids and we stumbled on the topic of creating friendships that last. Finding people when transition to parenthood who align with the new you can be tricky. The things you would tolerate or enjoy pre-parenting might have changed. Schedules, willing flexibility, and interest change overtime. The added layer of social distancing to avoid spreading covid makes difference too.

    Most of my friendships exist through social media, text, and phone conversations in the wake of the 2020 pandemic. I work with local friends to find ways to get together ( mostly outside) to help feel connected. Being a stay at home mom can be lonely, and knowing that there are people around who will bring coffee, share snacks, and let the kids run free is a treasure.

    So what can be done to cultivate long lasting relationships that get you through isolation, and take you into the next chapters of your life?

    Guide to Creating a Tribe

    1. Take Your Time – I have learned this the hard way. Anyone who knows me well knows this is how I learn most things. Keep in mind that friendship with other parents is a long game. If you are committed to fostering friendships that benefit your family be willing to keep present. Divulge intense information as it applies to developing the friendship. Ask yourself if what you have to say is a point for or against scheduling another date.
    2. Be Flexible – There is a wide spectrum of normal. Allow for your kids and you to embrace the way another family does life. Listen, absorb, compliment. Maybe you won’t allow certain behaviors when you are alone again, BUT for the two hours of adult connection, let it go.
    3. Meet Other Adults Where They Are – I have some friends and family that I text with once a month. I have friends that liking posts is how we show up for one another. I have friends who check in daily or weekly with texts. It is about showing up period, not how you show up. Especially in a a time of heightened anxiety and isolation. SHOW UP EVEN IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT – There are some days that your friend will reach out and for whatever reason you are not in a headspace to interact. Send a thought, honest reply. Lead with typical conversation and make sure they know regardless of how you feel, they are valued.
    4. Find a Common Interest & Give It Time – Each person in your tribe has interests that align with yours. Whether is it just the fact that you have kids, your religious beliefs, career goals, family values, whatever it is – take the time to learn how you can connect. Don’t love bomb the friendship and assume you will connect on all levels or the relationship with fizzle quick. Then your kids will wonder where their friends went because you have grown to not stand the parents… not a good look.
    5. Model Relationships for Your Kids – This goes for your spouse, your family, your friends. Modeling what real relationships look like… is super important. From the fun to the conflict. They need to see how to make up when disagreements happen, how to cheer each other up, how to support one another, and how you learn when to respectfully take space.

    Happy Tuesday. 🎃🧡

    Check out @daycaremombylunamae on Instagram for weekly updates on lesson plans.

    DIY, halloween, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, pandemic, Parent Support, sensory play

    Making a Pandemic Holiday Fun

    DaycareMom

    Bummed out that Trunk or Treating and Trick or Treating are strongly advised against this year? Don’t want to miss out on sharing Halloween candy with your kids? The pandemic is changing the rules of holidays and Halloween is no exception. Whether your change of plans is rooted in your own anxiety (completely reasonable), or mandated by where you live in the world, here are two stay home friendly options for this year to keep the fun without spending more money, or missing out on a good time.

    Alternative Trick or Treat

    1. Halloween Town – Ages 2-4 – This has always been a favorite of mine. Find different sized boxes around the house, (Start Recycling Now) Paint, color, or cut and paste windows and a door on one more sides of the box. You may also keep the opened side of the box as the door and make it look like like a haunted door. Place a bowl of Halloween treats inside the box, Place a stuffed animal next to the bowl so your child has a friend to say trick or treat to. Make your town as big as your home space will allow.

    2. Scavenger Hunt – Ages 2 and up – inside or outside this is a fun way to collect candy while keeping your distance. Decorate a space for Halloween, create a check list of clues and let the fun begin! To make it fun for older kids you can include swap rules, guessing games for each find, or time limits per clue.

    Happy Tuesday 🎃🧡

    Check out the dayecaremombylunamae instagram for daily lesson plan suggestions for your predchool aged child.

    DIY, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, Parent Support, sensory play

    Implementing 5 to 10 Minute Lessons

    DaycareMom

    Avoid Getting Overwhelmed

    You have plenty of educational tools in your house. You do not have to go buy more. Investing in a few STEM toys can be as simple as using blocks, recycled boxes, refrigerator magnets, or soap and water. By using what you find in your home already you are teaching your child to be resourceful, helping them problem solve how to make recycled items work, and it cuts down on your “keep the new toy together” anxiety.

    Once you and your child pick what STEM tools you will use get ready to play. Sit on the floor with them, and ask them Learning questions.

    Great Learning Questions

    1. What can we make?

    2 What does this object look like?

    3. Do we need more materials to build with?

    4. How big should our invention be?

    5. How can I help you? – this one is a favorite of mine. There are so many times throughout the day that our kids wait for us… listen to us….accommodate us. Fight the urge to correct your tiny human and just ask how you can support what they are trying to achieve. We aren’t always going to agree with what our kids want to do, but we should always be their support system.

    Creating 5 to 10 Minute Lessons

    While you are getting ready to end the day or getting ready to start it – think what you have on hand to create a lesson. The simpler the better. Put the items you need off to the side. Give your child one step directions. You can either plan the whole activity ahead of time and utilize the scaffolding method ( older individual models play for younger individual). Or the Montessori method (letting your child fully dictate how learning will unfold)

    Next, set a timer for 5 minutes for up to 3 years old and 10 minutes for up to 5 years old. Model, direct, observe your child in that time period.

    Most important, bring later conversations back to your lesson. Ask questions about what your child liked, what they did, and what they would change next time.

    Repeat the activity again for 5 days. Build on the activity each day depending on your child’s learning style.

    Name identification – recycled pasta box, crayon, glue, scrap paper. Ten minute activity, perfect for preschool
    Mom Therapy, Parent Support, parenting styles, protective factors

    The Perfect Teacher, Flawed Mom

    DaycareMom

    This a topic I have been sitting on for a LONG time. My role in life as a teacher fell in direct contrast to my role as a mother. I was not expecting that. While I do not regret having children at all ( they are mini me’s and their own people… and I LOVE IT), I do regret not being smart enough to realize it is not the same. I get frustrated and overwhelmed. I feel a deeper sense of responsibility for my little people than I did my students. It makes sense why, my classrooms were controlled environments. I did not have to keep a home and watch two tiny humans at the same time. I was afforded the luxury of a break, a constant extra set of hands, and no bedtime/dinner time battles.

    Photo Credit – Marriage and Martinis and Ben Affleck for keeping it real.

    Ways to Get Through the Moments That Feel Overwhelming!

    1. Ask Yourself, Did I take a break today yet? Even a 5 minute break can make all the difference. The truth is, if our littles need down time so do we. Step back, let chaos ensue and take a quiet moment to yourself – It is not about self care… it is about self preservation.
    2. Remember That Your Child is Overwhelmed! A hard thing to do when you feel deregulated by their intense emotions but very true. Which is why it’s so valuable to take a step back and take a break first. I’ve learned the hard way that you will avoid hitching a ride on their emotional train.
    3. It is OKAY to Lose Your Coconuts Sometimes! Here is why… people (even young children) are built to endure. Now I am not suggesting they endure any type of abuse. I am saying they are built for parents mistakes. Sometimes taking a step back gets lost in whatever your day has been, spousal issues, financial issues, self-esteem, or the pandemic. Here is why a little adult temper tantrum is good… it is just as important for your kids to see you handle situations wrong as a it to see you do right. Demonstrate for tiny humans that you are flawed, capable of making a mistake, and capable of making it better.
    4. Tell Your Spouse You Are Having a Moment. Chances are your overwhelmed is not being shared by your spouse at that exact moment. Tap out for five minutes, grab a cup of coffee, go for a walk, get some comfort food, or sit back and watch another adult help you. Accept the help. Maybe the other person doesn’t handle life like you do. Don’t micromanage… say thank you and walk away.

    Happy Monday! 🧡😊

    Photo credit – @britandco Instagram

    Check out the @daycaremombylunamae on Instagram for today’s lessons in preschool/homeschool

    DIY, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, Parent Support, parenting styles, sensory play

    Sensory Play – Why Messes Are Important

    DaycareMom

    The Mess and Why It Matters

    I have a confession, I used to drive my co-teachers nuts! I would create a big old mess with toddlers and praise them as they helped me clean up. – Why did this drive my co-teacher nuts? Well, toddlers never clean the way adults would like. Inevitably someone would have to double back and clean with them…I always did. I think the sight of a mess makes some adults unravel because it means more work. Messes are important. There is a valuable lesson in a well placed mess.

    Messes Teach Children:

    1.what chaos is

    2.what activities are truly worth our time

    3.the investment in taking care of items we love

    4.the value of team work when it is time to clean

    5. actions have consequences

    6. Memory of where we put items away so we can play again

    7. Accomplishing a goal

    8. Pride

    9. CREATIVITY

    10. Messes are essential to learning how to clean up

    Where is the Best Place to Make a Mess?

    The sensory bin will be your best friend. A sensory bin can be any container you find in the home. Fill it weekly with items you find motivate your child to learn. Get on the floor with them and play, explore, learn new information about items you are familiar with.

    Creating a Controlled Mess

    You Need: A towel on the surface, your sensory items and manipulatives, brushes, sandbox toys, different textures, any container, box, water table, or bucket.

    Suggestions to get the most out of learning: make introductions gradual – example: day one let the child explore, day two discuss the 5 senses experience, day three add water and change how the child receives familiar information.. and so on. Make each sensory interaction limited to 30 minutes. Mostly important have your child help you clean up and get ready for the next day!

    Visual Examples of Sensory Play

    Nature Week Sensory Bin: Dirt, Flowers, plant roots, sandbox toys (day one)
    Shaving Cream and Dinosaurs!
    Add Water to Dinosaur Shaving Cream Party – introduced new sensory input and made cleaning up the shaving cream way easier!

    You are doing a great job parents. Your kids love you and the time you spend at home with them is precious ❤️🌈

    DIY, Lesson Plans, Parent Support, Storytime

    Book of the Week: The Very Hungry Caterpillar

    DaycareMom
    My Little Reader

    Tips to Read with baby- Preschooler

    1. Let them hold the book

    2. Let them read the story

    3. Let them lead, they are exploring the book not asking for guidance

    4. Model Reading during lunch, before nap and bedtime take the book of the week (whatever you choose) and read to them when you have their undivided attention. Added bonus: it keeps parents from micromanaging meal time, and keeps kids from fighting meals and naptime

    DIY, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, Parent Support

    May Curriculum & Monitoring Development

    DaycareMom

    Keep a Folder of Completed Projects from day 1-5

    If you want to see how your child is grasping a concept, keep track. Take a picture or keep in a folder how your child completed and activity Monday, practice all week and then save the same activity on Friday. This is a good way to observe what is being mastered, what still needs work, or any development concerns you might have about your child (consult pediatrician). Repeat activities for weeks at a time by revisiting lessons you/your child believe needs work.


    I let my kids decorate their own progress folders. I put the Activities completed on Monday and Friday to track their progress.

    May Curriculum: Nature, Letter Nn, Number 1 (one)


    5 DIY Lessons for you to replicate or take ideas from.


    Keep in Mind: Repeat the activities multiple times a week. Every time you attempt something on the list, start basic and then build on your child’s skill level.

    We Are Going On a Bear Hunt

    A preschool staple. I like the version by The Kiboomers. It can be found on amazon music, or YouTube. Get as detailed and creative as you want. This activity is great for direction following, exercise, and gross motor play.

    Leaf Trace Art

    Suggestion: collect a leave on your nature hunt!

    You Need: wax paper, a crayon, 1 leaf, and construction paper.

    To Create: place the leaf in between the wax paper and the construction paper and color over the area you placed the leaf.

    Create a Conversation: talk to your child about the colors, textures, and sounds they are experiencing during the activity.

    Stick Letter and Number

    Suggestion: collect the sticks on your nature hunt!

    You Need: sticks or anything comparable – straws, kabob sticks, pencils – use what you have on hand, and a piece of construction paper.

    To Create: make a letter then have your child copy what you have done. If they are younger let them experiment with the sticks.

    Create a Conversation: Learning letters and numbers should be stress free. Whatever they do compliment them, and guide in a positive direction.

    1 Nature Scavenger Hunt


    You Need: construction paper, a marker, and a container or box.

    To Create: make a list of the items found in your area. Go on an adventure with your child and have them identify one of each. Make sure they are only acknowledging one of each. Place as many items from the list as you feel comfortable in a box

    Create a Conversation: talk to your child about what their senses and your senses are experiencing on the nature hunt. After you collect your items, create a nature collage, talk about each item. Ask your child questions. Whatever they answer, whatever their speech level is, accept it and compliment them!

    Cloud Letter and Number

    You what you have on hand. I don’t glue anything down till the end of the week, because I like to have the kids practice more than once with the same materials.

    You Need: paper, a marker, cotton balls (use what you have on hand)

    To Create: use the marker to write the number and letter on two pieces of paper. Provide cotton balls to child and model using the cotton balls to outline the letters you wrote. Repeat, compliment, repeat, compliment. Letters and numbers take lots of practice!

    Create a Conversation: discuss the letter, the feeling of cotton, talk to your child about why cotton and clouds look the same.

    Check back Next Friday for More Activity Ideas! ❤️🌈

    decorating, DIY, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, Parent Support, protective factors

    Making Art

    DaycareMom

    Art is learning. Art is learning. Art is learning.

    Make an art wall with your child. Use recycled materials or store bought. Spend 10 minutes or 1 hour letting your little person create anything and everything, and then hang it up!

    What Children Learn from Art

    1. Fine motor skills

    2. Using imagination

    3. color, shape, number identification

    4. Patience

    5. Observation skills

    6. Cutting with scissors

    7.texture and sensory play

    8. Communication skills

    9. Labeling

    10. sharing

    Mom Therapy, Parent Support, parenting styles, protective factors

    Teaching the Kids You Raise

    DaycareMom

    I firmly believe in letting kids be their own rainbow while also teaching them boundaries. One of my biggest criticisms of no drama discipline – positive parenting is the message it sends. From the adult child – Everyone must respect my boundaries but I have no coping skills for respect other people boundaries. Why is that the message? The truth is, parents are super busy. For most of us with the pandemic, we are super busy and stressed. Our interactions with our children range from complete push over status to blowing a lid because of repeating ourselves 30 times. The patience level isn’t there, the time isn’t there. Over time positive parenting has been adapted to this overly permissive web of accommodating a small child like you would a PHD level scholar.

    The true art of positive parenting is saying no without saying no, having your kids do whatever you need done, and making them think it’s their idea. BUT HERE IS THE TRUTH – it also requires a level of patience and commitment comparable to a monk. Why? Because being a young child is the furthest thing from logical. It requires us to stop working, put our own needs aside, our phones down, and commit to paying 100% attention to who our kid is. Not the baby we birthed, but the child they have become.

    It’s really hard to utilize only one technique of parenting and have it be 💯 successful.

    Lessons Learned from Teaching Tiny Humans

    1. Talk to Them – not just about what you think they should know. Talk to them about what they care about. Yes, there are certain structural conversations that are in their best interest, BUT we are their safe haven. So be that!

    – Do you know how your kid talks? Explain everything or Ask questions? Does your child lead with the main point or use examples first and circle back to the heart of their point? the more you talk to them about what they want to talk about, the more confident they will feel. If their parents want to listen, other people will too!

    2. Walk them through problem solving – when they get frustrated give them time to be mad or whatever, and then walk them through what they did – ask questions, and make suggestions that you have been there too – “mommy is tired too, daddy is afraid of flying just like you” – simple and relatable help break down a tantrum and open communication

    3. Give them grace and the benefit of the doubt – seems simple but it is not. It’s not simple because parents have abstract thought and kids don’t. If he/she/they are under 5 and hitting you, he/she/they wants something and doesn’t know how to say it. Establish that hitting isn’t ok, and then ask what the child needs. (Also assess circumstances, sometimes a hit from a child is intentional even though not malicious). If the tantrum continues let the child know you will talk to them when they are calm. It’s a simple sentence that gives both grace and the benefit of the doubt.

    While you are staying home, give yourself grace, give yourself the benefit of the doubt, stay calm, and communicate. You are doing a great job however you choose to parent 🌈

    Parent Support, parenting styles, protective factors

    Validation and Boundaries

    DaycareMom

    I Have a Secret…

    We do this to our kids all the time! I do this to my kids and I don’t even know I am doing it until after I’ve done it, then I want to back peddle with all my mommy might.

    We (as busy, hardworking, amazing for providing for our kids parents) don’t always listen to what our tiny humans have to say. Or we think we are listening and we are not. Unconsciously, (at times) we are telling them who they are, what they want to say, and so on… we forget that they speak toddler and we don’t (anymore). We get frustrated when we perceive them to be anything other than the people we think they should be. Not to say we do anything cruel about it, we never should.

    Being a good parent, being a good human is getting frustrated and controlling ourselves. Remembering that especially in the heart of a child we do not violate their trust.

    What I am sharing with you today, is that a struggle you will encounter home 24/7 with your little loves – the subtle invalidation that exists in the relationship with your child is a crack that is becoming a crater.

    Tips to Validate but also Set Boundaries

    1. Let them speak & get on their level – hearing a child by getting down on their level, and just letting them ramble – strengths their trust to come to you as they grow. You are their safe space. Getting on their level makes you physically equal, again a powerful sign they can trust you and have your undivided attention.

    2. Let them be right for the small stuff, you have control of the big stuff – Sometimes we are so focused on teaching kids what we know we forget to give them a smidge if safe autonomy. You choose the terms I.e. – let them wear what they want (seasonally appropriate), create art how they want, or choose the activity you play. Then for the big stuff – safety things, personal boundaries you have – make it their idea and/or be clear and simple about your boundary.

    3. REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT – your child will know you are listening, and you will know you are listening if you suspend abstract thought, and repeat whatever your child is trying to tell you. Pause a minute, try to translate, and repeat what they said. Follow up by suggesting or asking what they need, or what they want.

    Above all permissive or authoritative parenting – our children are valid and they matter. We can teach boundaries and validate our tiny humans at the same time. Remember this is complex time for them too! – PS – this is not pandemic specific – we should always treat our kids this way.

    DIY, Lesson Plans, Parent Support

    Creating Curriculum For Your Tiny Human

    DaycareMom

    When your child goes to school everyday they are presented with new information daily. When they are home all day, they aren’t challenged nearly as much.

    If you are gearing up to make a classroom in your home, I have created a list of ways to create a curriculum (daycare term for lesson plans) and theme ideas to get you started.

    Length of Time / Repetition

    Your child needs time to learn the new information. They need to be reminded hourly, daily, weekly, about the information we present them. Keeping with one theme for a week at a time helps young children retain information. Keep it simple. Go with your work/home schedule and carve out a length of time that works for you. Carve out a specific and consistent time of day to teach new information, then leave subtle reminders within other centers (daycare term for the different subject related to your theme) to help reinforce the point.

    Keep New Information Separate

    Now that your ‘classroom’ is set up, create a space to keep your new material. Make sure the new material isn’t accessible to the child until you have introduced it through play. You want the crafts/toys/ stories you have created to standout from the rest of the toys and activities in the house. Plan at your leisure. When I created a sensory table for my kids, it was an unexpected lesson that I included them in creating – here is how:

    *Help to dye Pasta – color ID, direction following, science.

    *help to dry pasta – I sped the pasta up by blow drying the dyed pasta in a big bowl on low heat – we called it dancing pasta – science – for some many reasons this was a silly science lesson, it also taught time.

    The sensory table is only available periodically, not all day. It makes it more exciting and more desired. Every time we have used it, I talked to the kids about the conents – we talked about shapes, counting, texture, space.

    Remember – when your kids are at school the teachers (hopefully) aren’t on their phone or doing their own work, SO YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER – not while you’re “teaching them”

    Lesson Plan Ideas

    1. Alphabet & letter a week – incorporate a sub theme – d for dinosaur and teach about dinosaurs all week.

    2. Number a week – the best part of numbers is you can use your body for materials. Spin the number lesson into human body theme, and count fingers toes, eyes.. etc. play head shoulders knees and toes…

    3. Scan Disney+ , Netflix, Amazon Prime – pick an animal, historical theme, or pull a topic out of something your child enjoys watching – let them watch the movie or show once a day during the week and craft lesson plans around the show.

    DIY, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, Mom Therapy, Parent Support

    Get Creative, Repurpose, Have Fun!

    DaycareMom

    Creat your own Sensory Bin! – One of the best ways to teach your children, keep them away from the screen, and make new memories!

    What to Do

    Make creating centers (daycare term – stations of play) a family adventure.

    1. Have your kids help pick out manipulatives (daycare term – small objects to fill the sensory bin/table) the bin/table can have as little or as much as you would like.

    2. Try to stick with a theme. As you get further into teaching your tiny humans from home, come up with a weekly theme, letter, number to make play educational in an organic way.

    3. Set a time limit and rules for using the in – i.e. – keeping manipulatives in the designated space, no eating, sharing – gently remind kids of these rules each time you play

    4. Play with them. Ask them questions about what they are imagining. Tell them how you are pretending. Have fun with your child and make the sensory table a memory.

    decorating, Kid Crafts, Lesson Plans, Mom Therapy, Parent Support

    Craft a Schedule, That works for your family!

    DaycareMom

    Daycare schedules are constructed to have short activity time, easy clean up, and minimal transitions. Keeping a schedule for yourself, that gives specific times and flexible/ planned activities will help your child feeling content in their new reality.

    Timing Activities

    For a baby – under 5 minutes an activity

    For a toddler – under 15 minutes an activity

    For a pre-schooler – under 30 minutes an activity

    * your child might hold attention for longer, but you are their teacher now. Those times I’ve listed are for helping them retain information.

    The schedule shown is what my family follows. Again, the times are the same everyday. The activities are roughly the same. Be flexible for the curves life throws you.

    I made the kids part of the planning by making a collage of healthy foods on a painted cereal box.
    Then we hung the schedule in the room. We reference it through out the day. It’s the beginning of learning: time, and helps with what to expect next.

    Craft a Consistent Schedule

    I am a stay at home mom. I have been for 2.5 years now. I have accepted that any work I plan on doing happens in stolen moments, nap times, and bedtimes. I play with my kids all day, and when they have free play – I watch them grow. As you may already know, the second you attempt to do something productive for yourself – tiny humans sense it and chaos ensues.

    That said, if you are like many parents who still need to work or have to look for work for a company, take a few days to write down the flow of your day. Craft a schedule based off of what you are already doing. Again, keep consistent times and flexible activities.

    decorating, Mom Therapy, Parent Support

    Setting Up Your Space

    DaycareMom

    A key observation from my time in daycares, keep all your materials in one space. Young children do not understand “I’ll be right back”. Saying “I’ll be right back” and leaving the room, means whatever they are excited for, isn’t happening. When that happens, sit back and get ready for a tantrum. So make your life a little easier for yourself and keep it simple. I’ll show you what I mean below.

    Art/ Supervised Activity Area
    Use whatever you have in house – an underserved cabinet, a bag, a box. The key is making it something that only you have access to. If it is a cabinet that the kids can reach, put a quick safety lock on it, or turn it around when the kids are not using anything in there.

    Work with the Space You Have

    This seems like a pretty easy one. However, part of making it a “kid zone” is making it all their stuff. Collect items that you know your child loves and put them in one space for optimum use.

    When your child is at school they do not have the run of the center. They are expected to stay in one room unless accompanied by an adult. The change in their personality (the longer we are quarantined) could be spatial boundaries.

    I had an underused dining room I repurposed. Not everyone has that kind of space. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

    1. Move a couch to divide a room and create a mini room in a bigger space

    2. Make bedrooms off limits until rest time

    3. Make Labels to separate the different parts of your living space – you see this in your child’s classroom – kitchen, bathroom, school. – centers are school are labeled so even if you can’t make the space, you are giving the structure just the same.

    4. Use a bedroom – even for a half a day. It’s effective!

    Make a Book Nook

    This is a quick way to make your child feel like they are at school. Having a designated book space in the common area with a comfy chair or pillow, is a lifesaver. If your child is holding a book and looking at the pages – THAT IS READING! Make it accessible to them. Ask them to tell you the story, point to the pictures, teach them a letter sound (but just one at a time) – this designated area is a great way to give them space and help them learn at the same time. The key is to keep it the same as much as possible. Book areas can be a go to safe space for most pre-schoolers.

    A Reminder from me to you.
    Having fun setting up the space that works for your family!

    Mom Therapy, Parent Support

    Set Your Family Up for Success!

    DaycareMom

    Your home is your child’s safe haven. It is the place they can relax and unwind. In recent months for many children it has become so much more. It is their classroom, their playground, their art studio.

    As we set into our new reality, many working parents are left worried that they are not enough for their kids. I am here to tell you, YOU ARE! You just need to remember you are, in the moments you feel discouraged.